Welcome Back

I’ve been quarantined since March 15th. That’s a lot of extra free time to give someone who has been working two jobs, going to graduate school, and volunteering in my free time. The toilet paper hasn’t been an issue yet, but I’ve been known to use the folding method which ensures more uses out of four squares than all those ratchet-ass long-nail having millennial’s toilet paper balls surely do.

I mean, really. Who wads up their toilet paper and wipes once before going for a second wad?

Four squares offer endless folds, as long as you can keep it together and your long-ass fingernails don’t get in the junk. Was that entirely too much information about my bathroom behaviors? Well it’s not as crazy as some of these bloggers out here, jesting about toilet paper alternatives. Please, Skyler, I’m not going to use post-its for my duty. And in the immortal words of Janice Dickinson, “cut your nails, you look like a hooker!”

I bet none of you are wondering why this post is appearing here, after my last post talked about switching platforms to a self hosted website with the mostest. Turns out, self hosting was lame. It lacked the community I grew accustomed to here on wordpress.com. Adsense might also have had a little role to play in my decision to switch back. Even though I had more views through self hosting, the pay per ads was lower. Go figure. I still can’t figure out the math behind that one.

In any case, I haven’t had much time to write due to graduate school. I don’t remember what it felt like to have free time to write. My current routine consists of:

  1. Waking up and making a banana smoothie
  2. Going to work
  3. Coming home and making a giant to-do list for the evening
  4. Slowly working my way through the endless list of readings, reports, and discussion posts
  5. Inevitably falling asleep during the more boring readings
  6. Waking up and cursing at having fallen asleep YET AGAIN
  7. Power-studying for the rest of the night
  8. Staying up way too late power-studying
  9. Finally crying myself to sleep from the stress
  10. Just kidding. I’m on too many medications to feel sadness anymore

There is absolutely no free time in there to do anything that I used to love doing, such as writing, playing guitar and piano, listening to and reenacting the entirety of a broadway musical, practicing my stripper dance, or masturbating. And when I do have the time to do those things, I’m too mentally drained from my schoolwork to even attempt them.

Have you ever thought so hard and for so long that you can literally feel your mind straining to keep the string of understanding attached? It’s like that area right between your eyes, and it’s almost like you can feel the synapses firing and then slowly fizzling out as your brain begins to shut down. Know what I mean? Well, graduate school is like that, but constantly.

Constant mental burnout.

But hey, nothing like a pandemic-enforced month long quarantine to catch up on that extra sleep and finally do a load of laundry. Yesterday I slept for twelve hours straight. My red load hasn’t been washed since January! Yes, sometimes I even gross myself out. Now if only I had an Earth sign in my life to keep me on track. Oh wait, I do. I’d be lost without the wisdom of the mighty Taurus. It has been eleven days since I have seen My Love. Send help.

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